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The Simpsons Quotes
Ralph Wiggum
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That's where I saw the leprechaun...He told me to burn things.
Moe Szyslak
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Yeah. Call this an unfair generalization if you must.. but old people are no good at everything
Chief Wiggum
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When I look at people I don't see colors; I just see crackpot religions.
Mayor Quimby
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Can't we have one meeting that doesn't end with us digging up a corpse?
Frank Grimes
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I live in a single room above a bowling alley...and below another bowling alley.
Homer Simpson
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I can't even say the word 'titmouse' without gigggling like a schoolgirl.
Homer Simpson
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And this is the snack holder where I can put my beverage or, if you will, cupcake.
Homer Simpson
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Facts are meaningless. You could use facts to prove anything that's even remotely true.
Homer Simpson
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I believe the children are the future... Unless we stop them now!
Homer Simpson
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I hope I didn't brain my damage.
Otto
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Oh, wow, windows. I don't think I could afford this place.
Troy McClure
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Ahh! Sweet liquor eases the pain.
Mr. Burns
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Doughnuts? I told you I don't like ethnic food
Homer Simpson
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Oh, so they have Internet on computers now!
Bart Simpson
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You're turning me into a criminal when all I want to be is a petty thug.
Apu Nahasapeemapetilon
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Thank you. Come again.
Moe Szyslak
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Well, I'm better than dirt. Well, most kinds of dirt. I mean not that fancy store bought dirt. That stuffs loaded with nutrients. I.. I can't compete with that stuff.
Milhouse Van Houten
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Remember the time he ate my goldfish? And you lied and said I never had a goldfish. Then why did I have the bowl, Bart? Why did I have the bowl?
Homer Simpson
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All I'm gonna use this bed for is sleeping, eating and maybe building a little fort.
Troy McClure
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Ahh! Sweet liquor eases the pain.
Marge Simpson
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I don't want to sound like a killjoy, but becuase this is not to my taste I don't think anyone else should be allowed to enjoy it.
Ralph Wiggum
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Me fail English? That's unpossible.
Chief Wiggum
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Hey, I'm the chief here. Bake him away, toys.
Comic Book Guy
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Last night's 'Itchy and Scratchy' was, without a doubt, the worst episode ever. Rest assured that I was on the Internet within minutes, registering my disgust throughout the world.
Abe Simpson
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Why are you pleople avoiding me? Does my withered face remind you of the grim specter of death?
Rainier Wolfcastle
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My eyes! The goggles do nothing!
Abe Simpson
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I used to be with it. But then they changed what it was. Now what I'm with isn't it, and what's it seems scary and wierd. It'll happen to you.
Bart Simpson
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Eat my shorts
Comic Book Guy
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Last night's "Itchy & Scratchy" was, without a doubt, the worst episode ever. Rest assured that I was on the Internet within minutes, registering my disgust throughout the world.
Lisa Simpson
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These are my only friends...grown-up nerds like Gore Vidal. And even he's kissed more boys than I ever will.
Marge Simpson
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I'm sleeping in the bath tub.
Dr. Nick
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Ah, be creative. Instead of making sandwhiches with bread, use Pop-Tarts. Instead of chewing gum, chew bacon.
Dr. Nick
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Inflammable means flammable? What a country!
Moe Szyslak
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When I catch you, I'm gonna pull out your eyes and stick 'em down your pants so you can watch me kick the crap outta you, okay? Next I'm gonna use your tongue to paint my boat!
Ralph Wiggum
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Oh boy, sleep! That's where I'm a viking!
Bart Simpson
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Nothing you say can upset us. We're the MTV generation.
Homer Simpson
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For once maybe someone will call me "sir" without adding, "You're making a scene."
Ralph Wiggum
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They taste like...burning.
Milhouse Van Houten
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But my mom says I'm cool.
Homer Simpson
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In theory, Communism works! In theory.
Homer Simpson
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Marriage is like a coffin and each kid is another nail.
Nelson Muntz
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Shoplifting is a victimless crime, like punching someone in the dark.
Duffman
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Oh Yeah!
Waylon Smithers
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I think women and seamen don't mix
Ralph Wiggum
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Hi, Super Nintendo Chalmers!
Homer Simpson
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Gah, stupid sexy Flanders!
Groundskeeper Willie
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Back in Edinburg, we had a coal miners strike. All we wanted were hats with a wee light on top. Then one day the mine collapsed. No one made it out alive, not even Willie!
Lisa Simpson
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Shut up, brain. I got friends now. I don't need you anymore.
Apu Nahasapeemapetilon
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By chilling my loins I increase the chances of impregnating my wife.
Principal Skinner
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Hello, Simpson. I'm riding the bus today becuase Mother hid my car keys to punish me for talking to a woman on the phone. She was right to do it.
